Wedding planning sucks

I really need to get better at this blogging thing. So much has happened in the past 13 days. First of all Josh asked me to marry him and I accepted. I thought when I told people, "Josh asked me to marry him" they would assume I said yes. I guess not. I have had at least 10 people then ask, "what did you say?!?!?". YES. Of course I did. This is my dream come true!

Until the planning starts. I'm 13 days in and I'm over it. Done. Finito. I am ready to go to the local court house. I know, I know. This should be a fun time and all that jazz. But if you know me, you know I don't handle vauge plans well. At all. Josh and I (and our parents) have been all over the board. Columbus wedding? Hometown wedding? Minneapolis wedding? Destination wedding? Vegas? When? Is January too soon? Fall of 2010 would be nice. What about spring break?

I am so done.

Let me just say I have never had visions of a princess wedding. I never imagined a horse drawn carriage or an elaborate marble hall with hundreds of people in attendance. Part of this is because when I was growing up, we never had much money. I knew from an early age that certain things were just out of my reach. I would get no new car at age 16. I would have to pay for my own college education. I would start my first part time job at 15. I was never angry over this, I just accepted it. So a wedding with thousands of fresh flowers, champaign, a string quartet and 10 bridesmaids was never in my head.

Plus, I went through more than one phase of I'm-not-lovable-no-guy-will-date-me-I'll-never-get-married-low-self-esteemitis. (You know you did, too. And therefore you also know there is no need to elaborate.)

Today I sit here engaged. My dream come true with an amazing guy. And I hate this planning crap. I know its "our" wedding and we should do what we want, but its also our parents' and family's celebration. If it was up to me, I'd destination. Key West on a beach or Napa Valley in a vineyard. Simple, small, easy. But would I be robbing my mom and Josh's mom of the wedding experience? This is both of their first weddings for children. My selfish side is at war with my people pleasing side. I have cried 3 times already.

Its so weird. I am happier than I've ever been, yet completely stressed out at the same time. Long story short. I just want to marry Josh. No frills, no big production. A wedding for us with our families and close friends. Why is that so complicated?

I'll post later about "Big Chuck Plans a Wedding". My father has been full of entertaining tidbits! Least of which is the sandwich debate. Stay tuned.